Pappa, please just once.

Pappa...

Its going to be six years that you left me. I still want to fight with you for that. I told you on that Friday, 'Please don't go to Bhavnagar.' But you being you, you left and never came back.

I still can't accept you are gone.

You were to spend more time with me. I don't remember that anybody at home ask me for a glass of water any more. Things, people, thoughts etc have moved on but me? I am still lost some where, at that very point where you were gone, so suddenly. I still remember we reading news papers together, the last film we watched at a multiplex and you loved the cup full of tea and even asked me how much did it cost and then even were surprised, irked that why to pay twenty five rupees for a cup of tea?

How you always wished that I complete all parts of Pathmala? How in every summer vacation I would buy a new note book and mom would crib,'I know you will never complete it.' And how actually I never did, but still I could narrate the Sikandar and his Elephant story without any grammatical mistakes. You were thrilled when I learnt active and passive voice. Pappa I never make mistakes of 's' and 'es' when I use third person singular. How we went to all the book exhibitions and bought bunches of books, some times the same once again because I wanted a new one, and you teased me that you will tell mom that I forced you to buy them all for me. Every time I used to fell ill you would take me to the doctor and say that I survived on Samosaz. By they way it was you who bought them for me. Dad I don't eat Samosaz often and go to all sorts of doctor all alone but believe me you.. I am scared of doing so. Coming with you to all Dharanas, demonstrations, lectures and what not is something still I want to relive. I loved being THE KIRIT BHATT's daughter. How can I forget that when you didn't get excited about my salary reaching ten thousand, I fought with you but you just said, 'its just the beginning.' Were you so sure of me? I would have loved listening every thing from you. I wish you were there now, when I am in a situation that I could have done a lot for you. Dad you read out Happy Days to me and gave me best of the books to read. You let me grow the way I wanted to,. You trusted me more than anyone else in the family. I hate every one who has tried to hurt you.

Papa speak to me once. I bought a golf cap last year when it was your birthday. I want you to talk about what I am doing and how I must go about it. I want you to hear your voice daily when I reach home in the middle of the night. I know you never went off to sleep till I reached home.

It feels very lonely without you Pappa. I am tired of holding this brave mask now that 'all is fine.' No Pappa, I need you. I never got enough of you because you were so busy with every one around you. But then I know you were sure of me, but at least come once to see the results of the surety you had about me. I meet at least two persons a week who say that they are what they are because of you. I have a complain dad, I want to be you, come to me once. Pappa do you remember that you always told me that I shouldn't worry about making pages. I make pages and have made some of the best one's. All are there to appreciate but they are not you. Its winter and no one asks me, ' Where is my woolen cap?' You always knew it was next to you pillow but still you wanted that I must give it to you. Same was the case with your spectacles. By the way I have similar trouble with cold and sneezing that you had. But I know the medicine and I want to give that to you. I want to hear your Hello after a very deep pause on phone. I want to hear all that odd names you called me with. I still want to tease you with Madhuri Dikshit.I write a copy and I want you to read it. Pappa, I want to buy new tea set for you. A nice golf cap, a pen, a nice jhola. I hate Octobers as I can't buy khadi for you any more. I buy all that you used to buy for mom, I do take care of her the best I can. But we miss you. I want to take care of you too.  Pappa please come back, just once, for me. I need you.